Dear Aniruddha Bahal, It's Not Funny

Dear Aniruddha Bahal,

Not a week passes in my life without I mentioning strongly recommending Bunker 13 to people I come across and who seem even remotely interested in reading among those. If I were deeply religious, one would have observed that I go back to Bunker 13 more often that I go to the religious texts. Of course, one needs the kind of madness that made MM the man he was. When I die, I will be glad that I introduced you and your writing to a lot of people around me. While I most eagerly look forward to another Bunker 13 and another MM from you, I really can't understand the need for you to invent Tony M at this moment. Yes, we Indians are starved for quality humour and what we are being served now does no justice to our discerning intellect, but I will remain skeptical of this attempt of yours till I watch the said show and find out if it really deserves you. Tehelka was excellent work and I admire you not only for what you brought to the rot to light, but also how you withstood all the persecution that followed. I really admire Shankar Sharma and Devina Mehra for the same. Please convey my best wishes to them and to Tarun as well. One need not look beyond you guys for inspiration on how to fight back in the face of all odds and come back and come back doubly strong. You started Cobrapost much before those of us in the web 2.0 infected world starting throwing about terms like RSS feeds and news aggregators. For all we know, Cobrapost might just take off and make a strong comeback if you spend more time on it that trying to humour us by being Tony Bhasand. And what is this? Is this what Aniruddha Bahal has become?

Is your absurd sense of humour your forte?

Humour is not the fort. If the truth in the joking then the peoples laughing and spreading all over out from the Naini fort on the river.

I really hope you and your publisher are working on another Bunker 13 and you won't disappoint your followers and readers. Maybe your following is a billionth of that of Sharukh Khan and you are not Arundhati Roy, reading whose work kids think they become intellectuals overnight and go around telling the entire world about it. We are you fans by choice, not by the lack of it. Hope you know that.



Maybe I'm over-reacting just on the ten questions you answered for the Outlook interview. But I hope you understand that you are at your best when you are either stinging or you are writing. And please don't meet Vipul Shah or Akshay Kumar, otherwise we'll soon be watching a movie titled Stingg is Kinng, with the unnecessary extra alphabets and there is also the threat of them wanting you to write the script.

Hope to see you back to writing soon.

Regards,
Nikhil


PS. I must mention here that I immensely enjoyed reading A Case of Exploding Mangoes. Just a note that you now have some competition in fiction writing about military, politicians, war, spying and espionage in the sub-continent.

Image Credit: Outlook

To Mr. Meghdoot Sharon, Correspondent, CNN-IBN

Dear Mr. Meghdoot Sharon,

Warm Greetings. I'm writing to you regarding your article headlined BJP makes bachelor CM its ladies' man in Guj on IBNlive.com on Dec 3, 2007.

While I understand that Mr. Rajdeep Sardesai is your boss and you might feeling honoured to work with an intellectual like him, it doesn't necessarily mean that you share the same disgust that Mr. Sardesai has for Mr. Modi. It's a different thing if it is a company policy in CNN-IBN to always spew venom at Mr. Modi, however flimsy or trivial the reason for that great piece of journalism maybe. If you and your team are that sure about Mr. Modi's complicity in the riots, which are to be condemned in the strongest of terms, please come out with hard facts and take on Mr. Modi. Do not fight from the comfort of your air-conditioned glass-walled studios, that's not fair. Give the other person a chance to respond. And if the belief is that the evidence is all there and still there's no action, then there's something seriously wrong in the justice delivery system in our country and maybe that is what you should be looking at setting right, and not targetting an individual. In fact, Mr. Modi appears more dignified with his silence compared to your repeated diatribes, which are, more often than not, are needlessly vitriolic and below the belt. What about this article headlined Modi sells Guj Inc, 'appeases rich and ignores poor' which appeared on Nov 18. Articles like these, Mr. Sharon, are not, in good spirit and smack of vengence and a huge sense of political and maybe, even personal vendetta. It doesn't appear to be reporting or journalism, it's sleazy and sickening.

I don't think I need to clarify, but I'm no supporter of Mr Modi. If that man is found guilty by a court of law and even if he's to be hanged for the crime he's to have committed, so be it. But do not become the judge yourself. I'm reminded of that famous quote from Spiderman here. At least, credit him for the work he has done in his term as the Chief Minister. And if you stay in Gujarat and have seen things around you while you report, I'm sure you'd agree with me, that development in Gujarat has happened, and has happened at a good pace.

Good Night, And Good Luck

Regards,
Nikhil Kulkarni

No Hyphen No Fun

Hyphens, are were fun. Sad, they've killed some 16,000 of them. That's leap-frogging leapfrogging into the past. Huh. Perhaps CNN-IBN themselves(now, this one is with the hyphen) could definitely pick up a thing and a quarter from here.

Melancholic Ecstacy

The Indian Ocean track

Realised two things over the last two weeks. Two days passed by without spending much time with anyone. For two hours I listened to 'Sound of Silence' and wrote this in two minutes.

1.In the final months of final year,if you are not in the habit of enjoying something burning close to your lips,you lose 50% of your 'friends' whom you could hangout with.

2.Funnily enough,if you are not a nature lover,don't like things green,say grass, you are in for some more time alone.You lose 30% of 'friends' to hang out or pass time.

And things get worse when the remaining 20% are not too enthusiastic about what you are interested in. Then the true meaning of 'bore' dawns on you.( For 9 hours,you sit in front of the comp to do something which people won't appreciate anyway, and then when you no one to talk to or go with for a cup of a coffee,it is sad)

Call this a whine,a rant,a crib, it doesn't matter.Yes, I'm like that little kid crying for a chocolate. But who'll get me the chocolate?!

And during one of those boring hours, I wrote this poem. It's after a long time that I'm trying this stunt. My earlier attempts at this form of literature were meant to be funny and time-pass types. This one I believe, is a serious attempt. What's your take?!

Conversation with cloud#9

I'm not sure if it was day or night.
But I saw a magnificient light in full might.
There we were, 3267 metres high,
When I met cloud number nine.

Asked him,"What keeps you so happy,Nine?"
Said he,"The key lies in always being high"
But then I come from a dry land,
How to be always high, I don't understand?.

He smiled and said,"Make one thing clear,
If your land is dry,how come I see you here?!
I see you have no fear,
Arrange for 'stuff' without shedding a tear"

I said-"Your words are very true,
But it's difficult to get good brew.
It comes at a costly price,
If caught,have to pay a heavy price"

He said,"Come meet this guy.He's new here,
Hasn't even tasted beer.
Hails from a place where 'it' flows like a river.
To 'that', he hasn't even gone near.

Between you and the world, going on is an eternal strife.
I know you need means to relax and fly.
Leave aside those means for a while
And try getting high on life."

Less boring and more interesting news coming up in the next post.

Dressed and Confused(DBCAs)

‘Open 24 hours’. In a fast-moving, never-sleeping,maximum city like Mumbai, one would expect such a thing to be written at a restaurant close to a railway station or more likely at a guest-house. But much to my amusement, I found this written across seemingly firm bosom of a mannequin at a Mega-Mart outlet in the suburban Kandivili. The very next day at my CAT centre I chanced upon this female (ok, a candidate) wearing the same T-shirt. No less than 44 eyes were ogling at her. 18 wore an amused look, 20 were looking at her just like any guy would look at a good-looking girl (maybe the T-shirt was what attracted them towards her, else it’d have been some other girl who’d be the object of their attention). And some 6 wore a seriously menacing look which seemed to say, ‘ok, let’s see what you’ve got madam’. Not that they intended to do anything dangerous, but the ‘bold’ statement the madam wanted to make had had its effect.

Now let’s come to the broader question. Before that let me ask myself one very pertinent question which you as a reader would want to ask me. The question being-‘what problem do I have with people wearing what they want to wear? ‘. At the outset, I’m a liberal and have no problem with people wearing what they are comfortable with. But what never misses out of my mind’s scanner and my watchful eyes is this whole thing of people wearing T-shirts to give out some kind of an attitude or to make a statement. If one is hip, hep, hop and dude/dudette -ish enough to carry him/herself well with the kind of attire he/she is wearing, that’s hardly anybody’s problem. But things tend to get a bit complicated when this segment of confused, wannabe youth wears T-shirts which appears to confuse them even more and with all the attention such T-shirts attract, the feeling of discomfort is quite palpable.

Che Guevera,Jim Morrison must be turning in their graves now. They are the ones seen most on these t-shirts PYTs wear. Yet they remain as foreign as ever. No, I’m not talking of that 8-year old kid who serves us tea near the college gate. He wears a Linkin park T-shirt with LP written in bold letters in fluorescent on a pitch black t-shirt. The shoulders of the T-shirt extend well beyond his elbow. Forget LP, he probably wouldn’t even be aware of Dr.Kalam being the president of India. I’m actually talking about this college-going student with a decent pocket money at his disposal, seven of ten of his ilk have a bike at their disposal too, hanging/chilling out with his friends at the most hip/hop/hep/ happening places in his city/town. You have more probability of finding such a vikas a.k.a viks in a tier 2 town than a city. But I wonder if wearing a black t-shirt with an ‘in your face’ face of Jim Morrison with ‘The Doors’ in glossy bold letters doesn’t exactly make him hip/hep/cool/. Complete the picture with a goatee, long hair, a yo-man with the ‘rock sign’ to boot interspersed with *ucks and screws, you have the DBCA- desi born confused American!

Am I actually saying that the kind of t-shirt one wears is an indication of an identity crisis or something? The point I might want to make is on a shaky ground and the arguments may not be backed by enough convincing arguments. But to me it appears more convincing than having to look and wonder at a female wearing a t-shirt which had –‘ for authorized persons only’ written right across her bosom.

P.S. Did the girl wearing that open 24 hours open t-shirt mean open as a noun or as a verb?

A 'short' story and 'THE stroke of genius'

Wrote this in a short time, 3 minutes?! During the seminars. Practical exams from Monday and I'm writing this here!! My previous experiences should come in handy and no Ram here for that reassurance you guys,b@$!@^d$!

The 'short' story
His name was R.Ram. He was 5' tall. Like his name, his height was also very short. He used to cut his hair every fortnight, for he liked to keep it short. Hewas a good cricket player. While batting he used to despatch anything short, beyond the ropes. He was a brilliant fielder at short point, short fineleg and short mid-wicket bowling his main weapon was the shortpitched delivery which rose to an awkward height for the batsmen to tackle it. His memory lasted for a very short period, the time he spent in the exam hall was also very short it took a very short time for his teachers to correct his papers and he always fell short of the passing marks.

He was extremely short-tempered. His temper used to flare when his friends used to tease him for 'that thing' being short as well, owing to his short height. He used to get into serious fights over this. But, those fights were also shortlived for he lost due to his short stature deep inside he knew,'it' was indeed short.

When he was 18,he wanted a girlfriend. He wanted only a short term relationship. His wait was shortlived, for he found an equally short female. Their short relationship came to an end and they went separate ways.

While on a short walk, he came under a truck. He died on the spot. A short article tucked away in some corner on an obscure local newspaper made a mention of his death. His funeral also was very short, for he had no mourners.

The stroke of genius

This occurred to me while I was peeing in the 'hygienic', germ free, hazy(due to just then sprayed DDT to keep away the mosquitoes) bathroom. No, it was not in the bathroom. My next best idea will occur to me when I'll be peeing. This actually occurred to me while I was almost killed by an OPEL CORSA number GJ-5 PJ 5456!!. I know my death will come while crossing the road.

Pong was with me then. I asked him,"What's the most (ab)used line in personality contests?". Personality contests!, well there's another post waiting to be written on that, which again reminds me of Ram!. And Pong had some/no clue.It was 'IITIAM' or I think therefore I am. Poor Descartes must be turning in his grave! Then I told Pong something which would've made Descartes roll over 142 times in his grave. I told him-"My parents thought, therefore I am!". To which Pong replied-"My parents didn't think, therefore I am!" No offences Pong, but!!!:))

P.S Now you decide who's the bigger genius!!

Update 1: I stand vindicated in writing the previous post. We still haven't received the prize. And heard the prize money will be cut down.
Update 2: If you haven't watched Yahaan, hang yourself and ask your bhoot to watch it.Minissha(s,with that extra s)is so cute, ooeeemaa.

Back with 'back again'!

I'm back after exorcising some demons inside my head. I'm feeling much better now having accomplished that, and what makes me more glad is that I did it all alone. I went to some people looking for answers and realised most of them lay within me. Realsied that running behind/with the crowd just doesn't help in my case. There are some inherent 'quirks?' and inexplicble contradictions which only I possess and there are some things which I do and have perfect explanations which appear totally convincing to me and I guess that is what matters most at the end of the day. Raghuram has more faith in me than I do and it is vice versa I guess!

Expect more of such philo'soupy' in coming posts!!

Hope the purgation is successful.I realised that there's no point geting stuck in a hole and then complain, crib about how things are not going on well. The best way to come out of the hole, I thought was to attend some classes and resume the old routine of writing poems sitting in the last bench, with the teacher wondering as to why am I the only one taking down notes. I finished the book that I was writing my 'class notes' since third year and had to borrow a page from Lakshman to write this poem.


Geometry of life

They say life comes a full circle, but why is it that,
I feel like it’s back to square one,
When what I’ve been through is just a semicircle.
Yet they say, angle in a semicircle is a right angle!

You and your goals become parallel lines,
You’re stuck in a maze as complicated as a dodecahedron.
Life goes into the third quadrant and people suddenly become obtuse
Your sorry state turns more acute and the cylindrical cup of woes overflows.

You pause and reflect, wondering why
The angle of incidence is not equal to the angle of reflection.
And realize that life isn’t governed by laws of Euclid or Euler.
That there are paths longer than the hypotenuse, and shorter than the diagonal.

You feel you are living on the edge,
Length breadth and height of desperation threatening to multiply,
You sit back, contemplate and analyze your graph
And then that diminishing flicker lost in some vertex of your heart,
Tells you to look at life as a trapezium.

Hope and faith the parallel sides, always running along.
All you need to do extend the non-parallel ones,
And don’t they meet, that extension needing tonnes of patience and hard work.
So clear your mind, start from the base and work your ass off!!
- Nikhil
23/09/05

Rendezvous with someone 'special'

It was sometime between 2:30 and 3 in the night. I was dead tired the previous night and tiny crackers were bursting in my head. I somehow managed to fall asleep(how does it matter if I was still with the same jeans,T-shirt and shoes since morning and didnot bother to take them off,how does it matter if the fan was running full speed and the door was wide open?!)


Suddenly everything was hazy. The sweet fragrance of Cycle Brand 3-in-1 incense sticks permeated my room.Strains of veena and the chanting of 'OM' could be heard in the background.The chants were getting clearer now. And then there was this single beam of blue light emerging through the balcony door. The whole thing was getting eerie.Before I could even think what the whole thing could be, this guy with his hair rolled into a bun appeared out of nowhere. For a moment though, I wonder if it was Shashank playing a prank on me.

I start scanning him with the bottom-up approach followed in hindi movies.How many times have we not seen the hero and the heroine make that typical 'entry'. The hero- start with the shining black shoes a tight black pant, a broad jet black belt with a gold buckle, a black leather jacket open at the front , a T-shirt with a 'puchline', accentuating his abs, and to 'top' to it all, a black helmet out of which emerges our kinght in the 'shining' armour(literally!).Sometimes some great directors like Vikram Bhatt get better of you and instead of the hero it's the heroine. Remember Rani's entree in Ghulam??. But the heroines' entry is sedate and marked by a degree of authority as most movies have the usual rich boy- meets -poor girl-love- father, also the villian -opposes- love wins in the end storyline. She steps out of the Merc, left leg first,ceramic white high-heeled sandals,(legs cleanly 'veet'-waxed!), stockings if she's to be shown as ultra-rich, and then as the camera starts moving up her leg the audiences' pulses begin to zoom up like the BSE sensex and threatens to cross all barriers, the skirt appears where the knee ends and then a 'correction' takes place with a large collective heave from the audience.Then there's nothing much at the top( to see ) because it is fully covered!She gets down from the car, takes off her goggles and then turns around with her 'sunsilk'y her covering the entire screen and her face as well. The repetitive shots of her Fair and Lovely face get lost amidst the shrill whistles and catcalls of the 'hungry' audience.

Now I become the hindi movie cameraman. His toes are as dirtier than mine and it appears as though he's walked quite a distance on the rain-soaked roads of Surat, his legs hairy as any normal male!, and when I don't see any signs of clothing as I move up his legs,it starts to get uncomfortable. More than assuaging this feeling of annoying discomfort, the piece of tiger skin draped his thighs scares me no ends. There's no sign any clothing as I move the 'camera' upwards except for large rosary around his neck which laters occurs to me that it's called 'Rudraksha'(which again reminds me of a horri(bheja-f(r))ying Hindi movie by the same name). His neck had a
bluish patch as if he had a bad throat(aggravated by those wicked khich-khich causing agents!) and needs Vicks urgently. His face was the most striking feature. There was something about this face. Something powerful, something enigmatic. What heightened my astonished state of misery was that I-know-it-all smile on his face. The trishul in his hand made me wonder if he was a Bajrang Dal activist. For five minutes he stands there akin to a statue at the Tussade's and I do nothing but stare at him. Just as I recover and am about to yell out aking him if that was some kind of a practical joke, he broke his smile and with a calm soothing voice called out - "Vaths!". Before I could ask him if he was Shiva- The God, the smile reappeared on his face and he said-"Yes, I am". It was Bruce Almighty redux. Not wanting to be the fool that Bruce Nolanwas in that movie, I let God do the talking!(At the back of my mind, I thought Ramanand Sagar had indeed got it right, Gods do address others as Vaths, even the costumes were accurate to the minutest of the details.

He parks his trishul in a corner, but it falls down. While he's picking it up, I restist the temptation to break out into a giggle which I do whenever the teacher drops the teacher in the class. He replaces the trishul and clasps his hands indicating he means business. I sense he's looking for a place to sit down and I quickly clear the pile of clothes on my chair and dump them in my cup-board. He's certainly out of sorts in DF-7 hostel-6 NIT,Surat far removed from the serene, calm environs of Kailash mountains.

Unmindful of this, he begins."So, do you know John Barry Adams?.He lived in the UK between 1863 and 1927. 5' 8", 73 kgs,comlete family man. Wife and two children. Achieved nothing great in life.Ended up as just another statistic in the register at the city council of Yorkshire."

I just parted my lips and there he went-"Yes, I do know English.Had to learn it with many Hindus praying to me in English. Globalisation, you see!"

I was left wondering why did God 'appear' to talk to me about some good-for-nothing John Barry Adams.He then smiled looking at puzzled look on my face - "No, don't do that with atleast me right infront of you" and this left me with no doubt that it was indeed God infrontof me.What exactly was going through my mind was-"How the *&%^ does this John Barry Adams matterto me now?" and he being God himself couldn't have missed it!.And added-"By the way, you were John Barry Adams in your previous birth.

The puzzled look still continued to be there while he carried on-"Well it was quite disturbing to see you curse me for the last few days and that last outburst of yours was very very unsettling. So I was quite upset with you and ran a check on your antecedents andfound out that there was a mistake on our database. it was found out that John Barry Adams had killed 768 ants more than we'd thought initially. So, to account for that, I had to punish you over the last week.That is wh`y your computer's RAM crashed,your keyboard stopped working, your specs broke, the tube-light in your room hasn't been working since the last 3 days and you had a stye in your eyes. I delayed your specs getting repaired for that outburst. But I found you worrying too much over such small matters,you have bigger things to worry and think aboutin your life.As they say, stop making a mountain of an mole-hill,learnt this idiom recently".

And then he walked away calmly out of my room, the crescent at the back of the bun on his hair clearly visible as was the spring where Ganga originates.Ramanand Sagar got this one wrong though. Gods just don't disappear, they silently walk away!

God was perhaps right.I have better things to worry about.Maybe I should worry if I have to attend the first class tomorrow having been up so late to write this, worry if with the last ten rupee note left in my pocket I should go to the canteen and have samosa and tea or go the gateand have vada-pav and sugarcane juice during the break, or maybe worry if i should clean my room after two months or two months and one day.

Yes,God was right.How does it matter if there was a stye in my eye and I don't have my specs for three days and I have to bunk two labs for that,how does it matter if my RAM crashes and keyboard stops working and that my room is without a tube-light for the last three days.C'mon God, small things?.you must be kidding!

P.S. It's been 4 days since I wrote this. My room is still without tube-light. The new keyboard I bought is giving problems and adding to the never-ending list of woes, my CD-ROM drive stopped working suddenly yesterday. And to my surprise, I'm not cribbing or complaining about what's happening to me. I'm currently flowing with
The Last Song of Dusk. Will try and post the review.

A 'local' take on Globalisation-Another 'article'

Looks like I've taken the freelancing thing a bit too seriously. As it appears the article on Gujjus and engineering was well recd. So here's the second article for YUVA on globalisation...Kroopa and Niki find a mention!!

MS word dick-shun-aree doesn't have blog in it!!!SAD

It is raining heavily here and posting this itself takes 30 minutes!

A ‘local’ take on globalization

This article was probably born the day the Pope died!! .The 23 minute long conversation over the phone I had with a friend of mine working with a call-center handling the transactions of a multinational bank left me with no doubt that globalization is a reality and has become an inseparable part of our lives. Here’s why :- When the Vatican was flooded with mourners from all over the globe, my friend was flooded with calls by frenzied callers from the Vatican asking for their credit limit to be raised or better still, that transactions on their cards be barred because their cards had been stolen(even in the Vatican?!!!) And when my friend was assigned the British division, she told me she was surprised that most of the customers were Patels from Gujarat. I wasn’t, having stayed in Gujarat for a substantial time now; I know very well that if a Gujarati has one foot in Surat, his other foot is in Southampton!!!

Talking of Brits, it reminds me of a train journey back home where one of our co-passengers happened to be a sound engineer working in music recording studio. What allured us into drawing him into a conversation with him was that he had an i-pod with him. And for us then, it was like-“WOW! That’s an i-pod!! And after the conversation that lasted for about three hours(if you can still call it a conversation!!), it was his turn to be amazed by our knowledge of the English county cricket, the Brit polity, Blair’s fourth child and of course, the universal language – music. The very fact that we listened to and knew about the likes of Led Zeppelin, Oasis, Coldplay and the latest about them together with other well-known Brit and American bands left him amazed. He confessed that his idea of India and Indians had undergone a sea change after the ‘conversation’ and we were more than glad to have helped change the perception of a ‘foreigner’ about our country. Finally, it was our turn to be left dumb-founded when he crooned “kuch toh hua hai” in that typical Brit accent of his and with a sly smile told us that KAL HO NA HO was one of the biggest films in the UK at that time. Only then did I realize that the talk of Indian cinema having arrived on the world scene wasn’t entirely phoney. It had- at least on the British scene, the ‘mother’land of English!!

The other day I went to get my mobile recharged and there was a middle-aged lady showing (off??!!) a very modern phone equipped with all the latest features. She was gleefully showing the MMS of her little granddaughter taking her first steps, which her software engineer son had sent her from the US. When asked if she had a pre-paid or post-paid connection, she said –“No, I have Airtel!!! Globalization at work again, albeit in a different way!!!

Till about 10 years or even 5 years ago, it’d have been unimaginable to think that we’d be this ‘global’. Leave aside the clothes that we wear, the internet that has become such an inseparable part of our lives, the Reebok or the Nike shoes that we wear, or that ubiquitous SMS forward connecting all countries in the world ending with ‘and an Indian sending this forward’!! Without our realization, globalization has indeed become a part of our lives and perhaps what separates us from ‘others’ is probably only the ‘colour’!! Who’d have thought ‘bangalored’ , a verb for someone having his job due to outsourcing would become a part of the English lexicon or better still that outsourcing would be a major issue at the US elections. It is not about how India is getting stronger by the day or that the days of its ‘arrival’ at the world scene are numbered now, but that the lines between various countries and their citizens are being blurred by the day. We are ceasing to be citizens of a particular country (am still very much Indian though, as all of us are) and becoming a part of a ‘global village’.

What is worth noting is that such a topic which used to be a part of school debates and essay competitions has become a pleasant reality now. Pleasant, because such an interaction amongst people from different regions and countries, is an experience in itself. I realize this when I see my blogging friends are from countries as wide as New Zealand and Japan!! Indeed with the Japanese friend running a photo-blog posting pictures taken with her camera-phone, the streets and lives of the Japanese are just a click away!!!

The situation back home in Karnataka is a bit different. Almost every household has either its son or daughter working in a software company; hence it is inevitable that they’ve been to ‘client’s site’ as part of their work and again inevitable that they take their parents there. Was surprised when an ‘aunty’ I met at a wedding started advising me on the kind of clothes I should carry and the precautions that I should take with the visa and passport and that how carrying all those ‘chutneys’ to the US would be of no use as they’d be confiscated at the airport. I was taken aback at this outpour of advice. When asked why this sudden flood of ‘fundas’, she said with a lot of concern-“Son, now that you’ve got a software job, you should be ready to fly to the US at any moment. My son had to go within six months of his joining and he faced lots of problems then. I don’t want you to face the same.”

Thank you Aunty, for the advice. But me and to the US?? Well Yes, Globalization IS indeed a reality now!!

**I get Printed!!** AND**'3.56 reasons why not 2 b @home!!!**

I get printed!!!(for the second time that is!!)

First was in the JAM mag about my college and seeing that getting printed and overwhelmed by the comments to that,I was spurred on to write more and better??!). That was actually the first post on this blog too.

Here it is on jammag


Now, it is in one of the magazines in Surat called YUVA.Guess most people visiting my blog wud've already read the piece anyway.It's the same thing about Gujjus and Engineering.But still here's the link anyway..

Here..on my blog

The magazine doesn't have an online edition but Here's the Cover and scroll down 2 page 24

Here's the story behind the story.

After my exams I had nothing to do(was supposed to be preparing for placements!!).So just called up the office and dropped down to meet Mr.Samir Parikh.

Mr.Parikh,an alumnus of Jamnalal Bajaj,has started out in Surat and Bombay and plans to branch out to other places like Bangalore soon.He runs this portal evidhya.com which 'dishes' out among other interesting things, 'notes' for various courses.(dishes out coz..that's how their punchline is -"Dialled a pizza?,dialled a Dhokla,Now dial your notes!!). He also publishes a monthly magazine 'YUVA'.At Rs.60 it is a tad too costly and to be very frank not all that great, but the very fact that such an endeavour is being pursued in a seemingly boring and 'unhappening' place like Surat is indeed laudable and Mr.Parikh needs to be congratulated for doing someting new.(NO...I'm not being paid for the article or even this praise!!..He deserves it!!)


I guess now I can call myself a 'freelance writer' or to go even a step further a 'freelance journalist' or is it still too early for this literary neonate to 'graduate'!!.Am in touch with newspapers here to see if anything works out.Anyways, IF ANYBODY COMING ACROSS THIS BLOG HAS ANY WRITING ASSIGNMENTS,I'M (ready 2) FREE-(lance)!!!

Will get to hear the news of my 'internship' (hasn't it become fashionable to use this term -'internship'!! even i like it!!) in a few days.Will 'break' it here soon after that.

*****3.56 reasons why not be @ home******
Reason 1. I don't have a comp at my disposal here(still apprehensive if Harsha's 'disposed'it off to the other Nikhil Kulkarni's place!!).Tired of wasting my time and more importantly money at cybercafes, finally found out a Sify i-way,which I'm sorry to say isn't any better.

Reason 1.I have thousands of ideas for a new blog and just can't come out coz of the incessant rains here.Just enjoy to sit and see it pour and want to write a poem full of meta-'pours'!! But feels like heaven away from the sweltering heat of Surat and Mumbai(tho was there only for a few hours, but even that was too much!!)

Reason 1.Friends here have their internals and the bookworms they are refuse to come out..though monsoons see earthworms coming out!!(what a 'muddy' simile!!!)

Reason 0.56. C'mon man, am at home isn't it natural to feel lazy!!!

More than anybody I guess I'm eager to blog and experiment with new things, but these 3.56 reasons are my bane!!!And Ellie start off wid the grp blog atleast the groundwork(insfrastructure!!) and the inaugural post if you please and will join in soon...

Much ado about ...placements???

Since the semester has come to an end,we don't have internet in the hostels anymore.Am rt now posting from our beloved C center.The next one month might see me posting from the cybercafe nearest to my home or 'wherever I may roam'!!

Jokes apart,here's a serious post.Read on...

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Much ado about.... placements...
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The outright outspoken person I am, I thought why not be a little outwritten.(that's one thing about us neonate 'writers'!, if you can't find an appropriate word to describe something,you either coin one yourself or use 'quotes'!!,how clever!)

In my previous post I mentioned as to how people change(their behaviour,their attitude,'the sudden increase in their fundooness'..et al). I have seen people change after reading books. Have people here who say their live have changed after reading Ayn Rand,Paulo Coelho.My way of looking at things did change after watching "The Shawshank Redemption" .Can't explain why, but that somehow got the best out of me in my fifth semester where I actually ended up being among the top ten?? of my class.For the 'hopeless' person that people think I am,that's something of more than a personal achievement for me.People do change after meeting new people or visiting new places.

During the placement frenzy at our college, the budding psychologist in me observed how people change during this whole 'horrible' phase.Either ways it is the end of the road for many.Here's how:

* You get a job, it's the culmination of all the 'hardwork' you did throughout one's life(dammit,it's only 20 odd years..still a long way to go..) and there's else left to achieve.

*You don't get a job, peer pressure gets on to you and you start losing confidence in yourself and I believe that's the worst thing that can happen to a person.People who are placed suddenly find a spring in their feet and start professing people on how to face interviews and how one has to be bold and confident. What irks me and irritates me at the same time is that more 'capable
and able' people long for such advice from people who are already placed.Encouragement on its part is ok, but somehow being placed doesn't suddenly make one a 'new' person so that you start needlessly professing people around.Whatever it is, somehow din't like this aspect and so am venting
it all out here.And a collective 'BALLS' to all those show-offs.

It is really sad to see 'real good' people (I know that cannot be defined, but the psychologist(screw him!) in me is a decent enough judge) wilting under this horrible pressure called 'peer pressure'. It's not the parental pressure, but it is peer pressure that is worst of all.One of my real good friends is yet to placed.He has faced three interviews and I guess the fact that he's not been able to make it as yet has shaken his confidence so much that he even spoke once of not taking up a job at all.Even I am in a predicament,talking to him and cheering him up is ok..but then when he gives that wry smile and says..."yeah yeah ..agle(company) mein ho jaayega"...I'm totally lost for words and have serious doubts on the whole process,atleast in his case man,c'mon he's more deserving than most people around.Just because the A/C in the room was not working or that interviewer was not served the cold-drink just before he came in or that the interviewer got a call from his office that supremely pissed him off, my friend doesn't have to go through this trauma.

Thankfully(ah,how wishful),I have a job.While most people around me are gloating about it...(basking in the glory to put it more appropriately for them), I'm left with no sense of achievement(Am I too numb?) .I don't know what's going to become of this idiot in future,but my aims,ambitions or dreams don't include working my ass off in a software company 9-5 in front of the comp(yeah yeah..they did show us dreams of 5 day week,informal work culture,shift of streams and the pay of course..but I guess the reality is much harsher).One of my secret dreams though is to make a movie,a hinglish one probably...may be by the time I'm 35-40. Here's a person who's actually on the verge of realising such a dream.
DO VISIT .Now that would probably give me more 'kick' than anything else.

So, sorry for throwing water on all the excitement about placements.It's plain LUCK and nothing else.This is me not being at my 'outwritten' best, otherwise would have vented out many 'inside stuff'.Atleast Ellie and Anubhav would come to know of it once they come here and for the rest after all this our Placement Officer(one helluva enthu person,will put any of us youngsters to shame) would proudly say that this year saw almost 100% placements(which is almost sure) and still,everybody will not live happily ever after.!

Chances thrown,nothing's free
Longing for what,used to be.
Still it's hard
Hard to see
Fragile lives,shattered dreams.

- The Kids Aren't Right.
OFFSPRING.

P.S. I had one of the most uneventful interviews,the only high point being him asking about my TV appearance on BBC WORLD!! at University Challenge.WTF,he didn't go deeper about my quizzing.

Anyways, that's not something that I'd wish to enthral my grand-children with.I'd rather enthral them like the rest of you with the tale of us gate-crashing at MEGA Gujju weddings and how we had the best food of our lives there.

I got PLACED!!!*** AND***GUJJUS IN ENGINEERING***

Was busy and a bit lazy too throughout the last 7-8 days to post.Have placements going on in our college.I got placed in CTS(Cognizant Technology Solutions)!!!.Visit cognizant.com for details!!Here are the things that I've promised myself that I'd do over the next few days.

1.Create a new blog about the placements at our college.Have lots to share about it.The highs,the lows,the reactions of people and how people change not by travelling places,not by meeting new people,not by reading books,but by getting a job!!!.Details of my tryst with placements too will be there.

2.Upload all photos on placements clicked by Pandit with his digicam.

3.Create a group blog about interesting people we come across,places we visit,books we read,movie reviews...any takers????


Finally,here's something which I wrote amidst our 'hectic' placement schedule.Why did I write the following piece will be made public on June 1st or 2nd.This is not even half as funny,sarcastic,hilarious,humorous I wanted it to be.But since it was written for a 'purpose',I had to toe more of a 'formal' line.Been observing people very closely of late and even this thought of doing a PG in psychology crossed my mind and Bharath almost beat me to death when I told it to him just before my interview for CTS!!!

Looking forward to reactions from you all on this,esp. Gujjus!!
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Gujjus (in) and engineering...

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Where on earth would you find a teacher in a computer engineering class asking students to "work out in the hostel and come"??......if you want an exact geographic location, it is the state of Gujarat in Western India. The teacher might not intended to mean "work out" as in picking up the dumbbells and sweating it out in the hostel, but the impression that it leaves on people is certainly not that one would be very happy about. Perhaps, what is more perplexing is that such a glaring mistake (though very much unintended) went unnoticed by most students also and a person like me, who instead of 'listening' to what the teacher was 'teaching' took notice of it and for a moment felt bad about the kind of 'education' I was receiving.

This probably sums up the higher education scene in Gujarat to me, with the little time I've had to observe it. The scenario is such that everyone thinks everything is rosy as long as at the end of the people get what they want.Students,marks and probably a degree so that they can venture into some business their family might be into and teachers, the fact that students are 'happy' also makes them 'happy'. I might be sounding very cynical and sarcastic, but when I see people here clamouring to improve their 'vocab(e)' or their 'English' or their 'communication skills' in a matter of days so that they can clear their Gds and PIs so as to land jobs, it does bother me to tell that them it takes more than a few mugging up of Barron's GRE wordlist or reading some 'motivational' books to have a good vocabulary and communication skills and also that they are skills needed to clear a job interview, but that they are 'life skills' and would keep a person in good stead through out his/her life.

Isn't it paradoxical that Gujaratis known for their entrepreneurial zeal and undying spirit to do better in life pay little heed to finer but very important things like good English, vocabulary buliding,inter-personal skills e.t.c. To me it is from the school stage where the rot stems from. From the little I've gathered from the local news and my 'localite' friends, people are very happy with getting good marks at school level and do bachelors in commerce or arts and set out to do business. Those wanting to pursue science-oriented courses like engineering or medicine have it easy. Seats in such colleges are allotted on the basis of 12th marks, which everybody knows aren't all that hard to score after spending so much money and time in the innumerable tuition classes that have mushroomed all over. No wonder then that introduction of entrance exams like AIEEE for admission to engineering colleges led to a lot of hue and cry and the 'worried' parents had to knock at the door of the courts to provide 'relief' to their children. Contrast this to the situation in states like Maharashtra and Karnataka where there was hardly any such and hue and cry and the parents and more importantly the students had no qualms in adapting to the new system. If such uncomfortable noises are heard about introduction of exams of the standard of AIEEE, which by all means is an exam lot easier than the JEE for entrance into the IITs, then wouldn't it be too wishful of us to expect sizeable number of students from Gujarat to get into the IITs.Again cynical as it may sound, but one must surely ask this question-'How long will people run away from competition?'.

Let me add a bit of my own experiences to this. We have a Gujarati friend of ours who attends tuition classes (tuition classes in engineering?? you might ask...let's leave that for a moment).It happens sometimes (well, many times!) that I have not completed my programs and have to copy from him. And again it happens all the time! That I happen to explain the program better to the teacher and he, the person who wrote the program is left wondering how on earth I could do that just by looking at the program once. Mean as it may sound, I end up getting more marks than him. I’m sure the law of averages would catch up with me and I'd have to repent not being regular, the point I wanted to highlight is that with whatever resources I had at my disposal, I could together with my ability to convince managed to get out of that tricky situation and my friend still wonder how could I manage that!!!

Talking of ability to convince people, it reminds me of one of my seniors working with McKinsey & Co. When asked what does he look for people when he recruits them, he said tersely-"If that girl or guy is convincing enough to sell me the sun for 100 rupees, I’d hire him without any hesitation”. Not that he didn’t value the academic qualifications of a person, but we all know what he was hinting at.

Ending this 'controversial' topic on a 'controversial' note, I’d want to share another incident where the teacher again made a hilarious blooper (unintended of course!).We had to make presentation on an allotted topic with slides and at the same time submit the printout of the material in a file to the teacher.The teacher happened to find out that the content in the slides and the file were not matching. She stopped the person midway and said-"What is this? The material in the slide and the printout are so different. I don't want people to make such ‘controversial’ presentations from now on”. Controversial--what the h*&l??It wasn't a presentation on the Godhra riots or the Best Bakery case. How can a presentation on 'Different types of Cathode Ray Tube monitors’ be controversial.

Then it dawned on to me that she meant 'contradictory'.!!

Clean Fresh Normal......

Donno why the poet in my has suddenly 'woken up'.Here's is how i was this weekend.


Finally cleaned my dirty room with a clean broom,
Now the broom is as dirty as my room
And my room as clean as the broom.
Am I proud of my room.

Got down to my knees,
Mopped the floor.
Oh god! the dust and my back,
But am sure, mom would be glad back home.

Went into a long slumber
Caught glimpses of a vivid dream
In my mind's innermost realm
My folks called up, thought -yes have to do it for them.

Have come some distance far,
Still a long way to go.
Am barely out of my teens,
Can't yet come to terms with this world's niceties.

There's so much to learn,so much to listen,
So much to know,so much to read.
And i'm not talking classroom here.
Only then you realise how 'small' you are.

In my mind,while these were being contemplated,
Bharath says I was 'frustrated'.
There are times when you need to switch off,
Have to sit back , think and watch.

Now that I've woken up,dreamt that dream
My mind like my room,fresh and clean
And for Bharath
I'm normal again

P.S. Is the poet in me lousy??Shall I keep him awake or put him to sleep??

Sense and Non-sensibilty

Bharath tells me,for the last 10 days or so
I've been speaking non-sense.
What does he know,
for what I'm doing makes perfect sense.

I need a lot of rest,
My room's in such a mess.
And I've hardly slept ,
For the last 10 days.

There's a stye in my left eye,
Which refuses to die.
And I want to read "Catcher in the Rye"
Oh! the stye in my eye.

Ok, I talk a lot and crack a lot of jokes
Am really bored of class and notes.
I am still very much sane
But my PJs will continue to rain.

There's very little time to go,
Before exams usurp our fun.
My subjects' names i still don't know
Have to wake up now,how far can i run?

I just need a break, and some rest.
Long hours of deep sleep.
Then Bharath won't complain
For him, I'd be normal and sane then!

one more .....poem???

WHILE I'M YET TO WRITE ON WHAT ALL I WAS 'BUSY' WITH FOR THE LAST 20 DAYS OR SO, HERE'S SOMETHING WHICH I WROTE DURING THE FIRST PERIOD TODAY!!(STILL CAN'T SEEM TO RECONCILE TO THE FACT THAT WHILE IN CLASS I'M SUPPOSED TO LISTEN TO THE TEACHER!!)

SO HERE IT GOES..(COULDN'T FIND A TITLE.. ANY SUGGESTIONS ..APART FROM THE BRICKBATS,CRIBS,RAVES AND ....)

...............................................................................

THE DATE AND TIME WERE SET
FOR THE RENDEZVOUS.
TO SEE THE PRETTY ONE,
HE'D BEEN TRYING TO WOO.

HE STILL CANNOT FORGET ,
THEIR FIRST ENCOUNTER
IN A VERY PIQUANT SITUATION,
BOTH OF THEM WERE.

HE RAMMED INTO HER FROM BEHIND
I MEAN,HIS PULSAR INTO HER SCOOTY.
SHE CREATED A FURORE,WORDS ADDING FUEL TO FIRE.
AFTER ALL, A FIERY YOUNG WOMAN SHE WAS.

PROFUSELY HE APOLOGISED, BUT TO NO AVAIL
SHE FINALLY CALMED DOWN, AND APOLOGISED IN RETURN.
FOUND HIM VERY NAUGHTY , WHEN ASKED FOR A CUP OF COFFEE.
COFFEE CAN WAIT, SHE SAID AND GAVE HER MOBILE NUMBER INSTEAD.

HESITANTLY HE SENT THE FIRST SMS FORWARD
WAS PLEASANTLY SURPRISED BY THE DELUGE OF REPLIES.
MOVING AHEAD FROM SILLY SMSES
THEY BEGAN TALKING SOON.

HE FOUND HER INTERESTING
SHE FOUND HIM SILLY,FUNNY AND TEMPTING!
BOTH MOVED CLOSER TO EACH OTHER
THOUGH THEY NEVER MET ONE ANOTHER.

FINALLY HE CONJURED UP ENOUGH COURAGE
ASKED HER OUT FOR A DATE.
SAID WE'LL MEET AT THE COFFEE PLACE
AND TALK OVER PASTRIES AND FRAPPE.

TO HIS JUBILIATION SHE AGREED
SAID- WILL COME IN MY FAVOURITE COLOUR- GREEN
CONFESSED EVEN SHE WAS EAGER,
TO MEET THE PERSON WHO'D RAMMED INTO HER.

HE WAITED ENDLESSLY AT THE COFFEE SHOP
BUT THERE WAS NO SIGN OF 'THE ONE'
NOW THOUGHT HE, SOMEONE ELSE HAS RAMMED INTO HER.
RETURNED DISAPPOINTED WITHOUT THE ENCOUNTER.

AND THEN THE SKIES OPENED UP
HE STOOD DRENCHED WHILE EVERYONE SCURRIED FOR COVER.
PETALS OF THE ROSE WERE ALL WASHED AWAY,
WHILE THE SKIES OPENED UP AGAIN!

©nikhilkulkarni 2005(COPYRIGHT..EH!!)

EverYthINg'S In ThE naME!

We've had lots of arbit translations of indian names especially the marathi,bong,mallu ones....heard many like .. what is a dashing mallu called--debonair...haha haha funnny!!!!

Here are some more coined by yours truly.. and i'd be damned if i don't acknowledge the inputs of my fellow PJ's(poor jokers).....

Here we go.....(I seem to use this a lot!!)

1.A woman with three cows..."gaya"three....GAYATHRI!!!

2.A woman with hundred cats...."sou"meow....SOUMYA!!!!

3. A woman who knows the hindu scriptures..."sung""geeta"...SANGEETA!!(too vague!)

I'm no male chauvinist but haven't come across anything for the male names...additions to this list would be welcome....

Well well...
I have indeed come across one for a male name ....

that makes it 4 ...5 infact if you include ellie's(??ram's??) pushpa..

5.Ram after having an energetic meal......strength==bal in hindi so...BALRAM!!
(now SVNITians no arguments on that ..balram IS a male name!!!)

still seeking for some more additions...

ThE LasTBencherS' SOng!!(incomplete!)

Sitting in the last bench,
Far away from the hostel stench,
Our knowledge thirst we are here to quench,
Sitting in the last bench!!

This teacher makes our guts wrench,
This period seems like a never ending trench.
But,our knowledge thirst we are here to quench,
Sitting in the last bench.!

Away from all this, in heavy rains we want to drench
Dancing with girls Brit,American and French!!
But, dreaming of all this our knowledge thirst we quench,
Sitting in the last bench!!!!

My CoLLegE(written for JAM magazine!)

http://www.jammag.com/campus/index.php?sectionid=7&article_id=129

(YOU'LL FIND THE SAME THING THERE--BUT READ THE COMMENTS THERE, THEY ARE INTERESTING!!)

GUYS AT JAM WIELDED THEIR EDITORIAL POWER TO CUT OUT THE GIRLS' PART.THAT YOU'LL FIND HERE!

SO HERE WE GO!

SVNIT -unofficial prospectus….

COLLEGE::

SVNIT….(Sardar Vallabhbhai National Institute of Technology) Conferred the status
of a deemed university 2 years back (REC to NIT). But for the local public it was, is and will be SVR. Perhaps they’ll never know the value of such an institution in their city, this is what irked the
College public earlier, but now even they don’t care.

LOCATION:::Some 10 kms from the railway station, in one of “the posh”est areas in Surat. Say SVNIT and you are sure to find some raised eyebrows… say SVR and you’ll see the faces relieved. For the locals it is still “Just another engineering college”.

CAMPUS::Vast is an understatement. During summer, students have to literally sweat it out to reach college from the hostels. Resembles a jungle, the local public flocks the campus for their morning and evening walks (perhaps, one more reason people know about the college!) .a huge lung space amidst a dense concrete jungle, surrounded by high-rises. With the departments situated quite far from each other, people find it difficult to catch up with folks from other departments. People generally “bump into” each other in the canteen or the C-Center (The Internet Center-great). Had six boys' hostels and an "h-7". With a new boys' hostel already up and basketball courts (two, flood lit), things are slowly but surely looking up.( the floodlights are very tall!!)


FACULTY:::mostly natives. try their level best to make the students "gate" whatever they teach. . By far mechanical has the best faculty( A -grade NAAC accreditation). With lots of phds,doctorates,articles in international journals , it boasts of being one of the best in western India. The mech HOD even has a constant named after him(Channiwala constant). The other departments are also equally competent. Civil has an A grade too. Some grumbles are heard in the electronics department about the lack of permanent faculty, but it is made up with the placements. Some blooper jewels… “work(it) out in the hostel and come ”. Overall, students are happy and so is the faculty.

CROWD:::
From the hi-five yo-man to bhaag bh%#*d types. From mallus to sikkimese, bongs to gultis, presents a true picture of national integration. Mostly bakar crowd ...can spend the entire day doing bakar in the canteen or near the gate. Mostly north Indian, has a southie G.S. Has lots of “fundoos”along with the usual quota of padhaakoos. You won’t get bored here on the campus that’s for sure. Gate, ichchhanath school, senti bridge , canteen . .few of the places to find the crowd.. or ask Sunil chaiwalla for that matter!.(See there was no mention the fairer sex, was there??).

INFRASTRUCTURE::
The new boy’s hostel is heaven (except for the mosquitoes!). Departments are also being refurbished with a.c seminar halls complete with multimedia projectors. With hostels being connected to the world wide web… no qualms at all for now… maybe the junta will start thinking about the library “building”, hostels.. And well, it can go on. But as said earlier things are changing for the good.

Hangouts :::::

For the “I’m –always- short- of –cash” crowd here, thelas(carts serving food on roads) are just what their pockets are happy with. Patiala shahi, lakhnavi, lovely are some names you’ll get to hear. Otherwise there are places like Priya, Classic, sugar and spice(bada),woodlands…there are quite a few of decent ones .then there always a Pizza Hut or a Smokin’ joe’s for the occasional treat. Valentine , city pulse -multiplexes for movies , rajhans, kinnari are the other halls. For the coffee pastry types there’s always cup-o-coffee or a sugar-n spice (chhota). But no place better than the gate or jaywalking on god -dhod road!

CANTEEN::
Perhaps the best thing to JAM about! Cheap and decent food. With a TV to boot, atmosphere resembles a carnival during cricket matches. “Do mein teen masala” is the most heard shout. Popular choices can change from time to time.. the canteenwallah tells me now it is “sambar samosa”(national integration eh??)

EXTRA CURRICS:::


Has a rock band “ sonic mayhemz”. Many committees like ISTE, SPIC MACAY, CHRD, L&D, DRISHTI(tech) organise events through out the year. But the same crowd turns up for every event. MINDBEND (tech fest) and SPARSH (cul fest) are major crowdpullers. Has one budding canteen quiz club too named “Su chhe”.

Placements::
Those eligible invariably get placed. All top-notch IT companies, mech. companies come for placements. Comp, tronix, mech. lead the way with others not far behind. Current figure around 200 and in the coming years it can only go up.

Latest news.::: With AIEEE, the “quality”(yeah ,your guess is right) of the crowd is improving and can only get better in the coming years. And yes the hostels are all wired up with LAN and internet connections, but “h-7” is not connected to the boys’ hostel!

………………………………………………….. A “shake”ing SVNITian. (that's me !why i'm called so is another shaky story!)

An oDe To EnGiNEeRiNg

For people like me so profane,
Hope engineering doesn’t go in vain.
These thoughts I must entertain,
So as to remain sane!

The days I’ve spent are umpteen;
Thinking what does engineering mean.
From what I’ve heard and seen,
It’s not all shine and green.

Is it all circuits and study kits?
Or is it all machines and tests unforeseen?
Or is it studying all night,so that is not
Dust that we bite.

Then how were the computers invented?
Not to mention , the internet.
And the mobiles too and, god only knows,
What’s coming next!

For those who think the same too,
Maybe we’re missing a point or two!
Maybe we should look beyond the class lectures
At the big picture!

My first StoRy!!!!!

Where do I begin? Like any other teenager who thinks he can do anything under the sun and somethings even beyond that!, I’m also setting out to write a book (a book??!)[There haven’t been many teenage “authors” , have they?] I have a “novel” idea of writing a book directed at teenagers, as I've realized after my recent short pursuit of reading as a serious hobby (If you can call it so after reading a few Forsyths, Ludlums, Haileys, Grishams, Archers, Sheldon- well most of them!! and a few Dan Browns too thrown In for a good measure!)))

The main protagonist of my book will be Abhay -the fearless a hero who fights against all odds..... ---- Hey wait a minute!!! Wouldn’t that be the same dramatic s@#t!!!! People do like heroes, but then wouldn’t people like a book with characters that they'd identify themselves with. [[[That’ll mean my book will sell more and if I really become that celebrated "celebrity" which I hope will get me an entry Into one of those page 3 parties .Man,after seeing (NDTV 24 * 7 NIGHT OUT) and reading (on page 3 ofcourse!) I desperately want to visit one of those parties to find out why the hell do they get so much airtime and eat up newsprint so that we know what (un)dress was a particular drunk lady wearing!!]]]] . Oh, back to the story!!!

So, we'll call our main protagonist Rahul!!(Where In India would you not find a person named Rahul after those countless Shahrukh movies in which he's called Rahul in each of them? That'll give my book a wide reach, wouldn't it? If the main character is say Pattabhi Subramanya Shrihari! Naidu Why would a Bengali bother to read it? And remember my book has to have maximum reach!!! )) How about a girlfriend for Rahul?? ((Forgive my engineering brains for obsession with girls!! I hope engineers will understand this better!!!!))) . But then aren't only "heroes" supposed to have girlfriends!!!?? . Maybe we’ll introduce a girl later in the story like an Item song In Hindi phillums (a bad joke huh!!)


Ok so Rahul is neither a topper nor a person who flunks, managing just about marks to be called average to good at academics. But then he isn’t noticed by many people. My book will cover things that Rahul goes through (Even ordinary people can have memorable and enjoyable experiences, but again who hears them?? )))

All Is quiet until this happens to Rahul one day .... He Is ........ ... . .. . . . . . .


Hey you, at the last bench. What are you writing?? Tell me how wIll you transfer a data of 16 bytes to a memory of 8 bytes??(( I "bite" my teeth In frustration here!!]] If you not concentrate In my lucture!! u are mercilessly out!!!! . Get out now.

Sir, I'm sorry sir.... I ...was......

No first you get out second you talk!!!!

I get out

End of story

End of my book.!!!!!!!!!!!