You Can Call Me On My Mobile Phone

No wonder they call it the Xtreme Sports Bar. Because we visit that place bar bar (not just because it's a bar) and extreme things happen while we are there. For example, Zee Sports is the channel they were playing on the TV screens the first time we went there. And why not, doesn't that qualify as a sports channel? Yes Sir, it does. While there has been definite improvement now, it is only to the level of playing Ten Sports these days. Yes yes, even that qualifies as a sports channel.

No problems about it at all, because just the act of playing a any sports channel on TV justifies its billing (we'll get to the billing part in a while) as a Sports Bar. Speaking of bills, they have a couple of billiards tables too, and you can snook around as well. Considering how crowded it is, no one really pays any attention to what one does there. Whether or not you pay attention to what others are doing, you have to pay the bill. Ok, T'll stop.

And continue here. Because Kaak had returned from Singapore and we had to make him feel premium, we decided to check the (then) newly opened Xtreme Sports Bar that Friday evening when they also have the karaoke nights.

One got excited about karaoke and decided to give singing a try. And try one did. Confidence stemmed from the fact that except for Kaak and Pole, occasionally only, no one would really take notice of (pay attention to is way too off, not even worth twelve grams of that) my singing and I could sing, scream, blare, be silent (there was the loud karaoke music anyway) and take it out in the name of singing. More importantly, have one thing checked in the list of things I have done. And sing (put voice to words in a rhythm I thought was right) , I did - this one and this one . Sorry Stipebhai and Gallagher bandhu, I hope you will pardon me for this transgression. But then, maybe I made a few people hear your songs for the first time. Hope that's redemption enough.

After all that is said and done written till now, the singing was actually nothing much to write about. Seriously, it was so mediocre (even that's a compliment) that even I don't remember it. The singing apart, the DJ(or the karaoke conductor?) was a very interesting man. One was quite pumped up after the singing (there was some jumping with the singing as well. Mostly because I could not see the screen from where I was standing and there were many people walking in between) and went to the DJ(or the karaoke conductor?) to say Hi and thank him. Here's what happened.

Me: Hey, thanks man. It was good fun.
He : Great! (Nodding his head, like the way a grandfather would to his grandson after the grandson comes running to him after his first cycle ride)
Me: Looks like a good place. Hope to see you here sometime soon.
He: I'm here every Friday, come have a good time.
Me: Nice, see you soon....your good name?
He: Val. My name is Valentine, you can call me Valentine.
Me: My name is Nikhil. You can call me on my mobile phone.

Val was not amused. I don't think it's fair to have expected him to be amused in any way. I still find it amusing though.

And then, the other day while we were there, those girls we vacated our seats for.....

Speaking At The Facebook Developer Garage

One was part of the Speaker Panel at the Facebook Developer Garage held in Bangalore on the 28th of August at The Taj West End.

Having worked on building applications on the Open Social and the Facebook platforms, growing them to be among the top applications, building an active user base and monetizing the apps by running some interesting brand campaigns, I shared my experiences on treating applications as products and took the audience through the various stages of development and growth of these apps and the important elements involved in each of the stages.

It was a great experience sharing my thoughts and experiences with a very enthusiastic developer audience and sharing the panel with peers from the internet industry from companies like Facebook, Games2Win, Chakpak, Position2 and WeRead.

Below are some photos from the event -





































































































Here is my presentation from the event -
(Suggested full screen viewing)

Nikhil Kulkarni - Facebook Developer Garage Bangalore

View more presentations from Abhishek Goyal.

Are You Really That Hot Then? Curious Incidents In The Life Time

Are You Really That Hot Then?

Location: Aboard AI 620, Mumbai to Bangalore.
Time: Between 2:15 and 2:30 am.
Date: January 17, 2009.
Feeling before the incident: One of immense relief having reached the airport only minutes before the departure and miraculously enough, being able to clear the security, customs and the immigration check (Yes, it was a domestic flight. But since it was Air India, the boarding was from the international terminal and hence the customs and the immigration checks). And why not miracle, for I had met God himself just before reaching the Airport. And I am sure that the miracle was only because I had met God and not Cyrus Sahukar. Yes, this gentleman. A gentleman, he indeed is.

Story Before The Story:
Dear God insisted that I visit him in Chembur, fully aware ignorant of the fact that I had reached Bombay at around midnight after a tiring, but very enjoyable trip to Bhopal and that the next flight to Bangalore was only an hour and a half from then. And when Inshah Allah and one suggested that we meet at Hiranandani, we were told by God that Chembur is only 20 minutes from Hiranandani and that we should immediately head to Chembur. And the plan of action from then on was straightforward. Listen to whatever God says - check. Agree to whatever God says - check. Do whatever God asks you to - check. I don't know what means of transport God uses to reach Chembur from Hiranandani in 20 minutes, and please don't tell him this, it took us at least 12 minutes to find an autorickshaw-wallah who would take us at that unGodly hour.

Masha Allah was not able to make it to the meeting with God as he was busy vodka pastry* eating and doing what not-ing with God knows who(oh, God definitely knows everything!) at Theobroma. Anyway, through a Facebook photo comment later, he informed us that he had to go to office early the next morning and hoped that Inshah Allah compensated for volume. Compensate, Inshah Allah did. But what about mass and density, Mashah Allah?

And then God worshipping and receiving blessings happened, which included ending up as the last customers in a restaurant cum bar (zyaada) and eating more than the money we had to pay. The restaurant owner taking pity on us (what else could he take out , not his anger definitely. After all, God was with us) and giving us 30 rupees to be able to pay for the auto.

We returned to heaven, picked up my luggage and headed to the Airport. Inshah Allah got down at Vikhroli leaving me and the auto-wallah to calculate the probability of reaching the airport on time before the flight took off.

Then, with a miracle leaving me feel very blessed for spending that time with God, I was able to board the aircraft.

The Story:

I will not say that the Air India air hostesses are nothing much to write about. There is lots to write about, but then maybe that is not something you would not be interested in. But there is something about all air hostesses I would like to write. Looks like the passengers they hate the most are the male passengers (guests, if you are flying FingKisser) in their early 20s and traveling alone. I feel miserable for making them feel miserable. The worst thing one can do to another person is not acknowledge the other person's presence and I credit the air hostesses for giving me this insight. Sad part though, is that I was and still continue to be at the receiving end. Not receiving perhaps, their attention that is.

Leave alone free snacks or meals, except for a few toffees, the air hostesses don't give you any attention on the Mumbai-Bangalore route. (Another matter that it's the same case on all routes!). So I was pleasantly surprised when the AI airhostess woke me up to serve tea and biscuits. I was tired and it took me a while to register what the lady was saying to me. Then, I realised that she was serving tea and was asking me to hold the cup - plastic, with a handle. Used to holding the cup the way I used to, I did not hold the cup by the handle. While I was pleasantly surprised that she was able to tolerate me for that long, I sensed that her patience was wearing thin. 'It is fine, serve me the tea', I said. Still, managing to maintain her calm^, she said, 'Sir, I will burn your fingers with the tea'. Then, in a moment of sheer genius, one said,'Oh, is it? Are you really that hot then?'.

If looks could kill, I would not be writing this post.

I am glad that
- looks don't actually kill.
- she din't have me thrown of the plane mid-air.
- she din't have me arrested after we landed in Bangalore
- I met God in Bombay.


* Mashah Allah, pardon my memory and lack of sophistication and propriety. I know it's name is not exactly the Vodka Pastry. What is it? How is Theobroma doing now? Do you still Page 3 there? Are you alive?
^ She has to maintain her calm because it is her kaam. Work kaam, not desire kaam.

Hello, Is There Anybody In There?

Really, does anyone *still* come and visit this blog? If you do, please let me know. I shall make a shrine for you In My Place. Really, I will.

Regular blogging will (hopefully) resume soon. A fair amount of traveling, reading, writing, listening to music, movie watching, cooking, eating, sleeping has happened in the meanwhile. I'm stopping. I go any further and I know a fair amount of boring and subsequently, killing will also happen.

Keep making things happen.

And Then One Voted

What I had to go through to get my voter ID card will take up two and a half blog posts, but after having cast my vote now, I feel it was worth all the effort.

Here's to Indian democracy -







Wrong finger?




















Thank you very much, DNA. Huh.




















Old Airport Road, Bangalore at 6:45 am.
































The Polling Station











List of candidates and alternate ID proofs.
















The polling booth at 7 am. There were problems with the EVM and polling began only by 7:15.






















Heartening to see the queues getting longer!















Do follow our analysis, opinions, agreements, disagreements on these polls on the election blog - http://indiapolls2009.blogspot.com.

It Is The Time

While a few very insignificant things have happened since this blog saw a post, like meeting Shri Thomas Friedman, frequent trips to the Western region of the country, getting the best deal on Douglas Coupland books, rediscovering music on a wonderful mobile phone, the earth still continues to revolve around the sun and it's still water that pours when it rains.

Nevertheless, what is definitely happening are the General Elections and I consider myself to be very fortunate to be around and to be able to look at events leading to how our country will be shaped over the next five years. I hold my hands together or keep them separate, no pun intended, praying to God to bless us with a stable government that doesn't have to bend over backwards to appease sickle-minded, elephant-sized allies to make sure that the government's policies remain consistent and not change the direction according to the whims and fancies of those with narrow, regional and irrelevant ideological interests.

And what have I done? Doing what I do best - start another blog. Well, let me start the campaign then. Here is the blog - http://indiapolls2009.blogspot.com/

Through the blog, I hope to capture various activities from the ground on how parties mobilize workers and voters, on how the rallies and other campaign activities are held, how various media - different forms, languages and affiliations are reacting to the the election events and what do those who matter the most - the people have to say, or not have to say about the elections. I will also be keen on observing how the urban youth respond to the election activities and see how much of an interest they have in contributing to the most important activity in our democratic process - the elections.

I shall be cross-posting on this blog whenever it is appropriate. Hope all you readers (there are?) are doing well. Enjoy your meal, books, music, movies and sleep.

Literacy For A Billion - How Can You Help?