You Can Call Me On My Mobile Phone

No wonder they call it the Xtreme Sports Bar. Because we visit that place bar bar (not just because it's a bar) and extreme things happen while we are there. For example, Zee Sports is the channel they were playing on the TV screens the first time we went there. And why not, doesn't that qualify as a sports channel? Yes Sir, it does. While there has been definite improvement now, it is only to the level of playing Ten Sports these days. Yes yes, even that qualifies as a sports channel.

No problems about it at all, because just the act of playing a any sports channel on TV justifies its billing (we'll get to the billing part in a while) as a Sports Bar. Speaking of bills, they have a couple of billiards tables too, and you can snook around as well. Considering how crowded it is, no one really pays any attention to what one does there. Whether or not you pay attention to what others are doing, you have to pay the bill. Ok, T'll stop.

And continue here. Because Kaak had returned from Singapore and we had to make him feel premium, we decided to check the (then) newly opened Xtreme Sports Bar that Friday evening when they also have the karaoke nights.

One got excited about karaoke and decided to give singing a try. And try one did. Confidence stemmed from the fact that except for Kaak and Pole, occasionally only, no one would really take notice of (pay attention to is way too off, not even worth twelve grams of that) my singing and I could sing, scream, blare, be silent (there was the loud karaoke music anyway) and take it out in the name of singing. More importantly, have one thing checked in the list of things I have done. And sing (put voice to words in a rhythm I thought was right) , I did - this one and this one . Sorry Stipebhai and Gallagher bandhu, I hope you will pardon me for this transgression. But then, maybe I made a few people hear your songs for the first time. Hope that's redemption enough.

After all that is said and done written till now, the singing was actually nothing much to write about. Seriously, it was so mediocre (even that's a compliment) that even I don't remember it. The singing apart, the DJ(or the karaoke conductor?) was a very interesting man. One was quite pumped up after the singing (there was some jumping with the singing as well. Mostly because I could not see the screen from where I was standing and there were many people walking in between) and went to the DJ(or the karaoke conductor?) to say Hi and thank him. Here's what happened.

Me: Hey, thanks man. It was good fun.
He : Great! (Nodding his head, like the way a grandfather would to his grandson after the grandson comes running to him after his first cycle ride)
Me: Looks like a good place. Hope to see you here sometime soon.
He: I'm here every Friday, come have a good time.
Me: Nice, see you soon....your good name?
He: Val. My name is Valentine, you can call me Valentine.
Me: My name is Nikhil. You can call me on my mobile phone.

Val was not amused. I don't think it's fair to have expected him to be amused in any way. I still find it amusing though.

And then, the other day while we were there, those girls we vacated our seats for.....

Speaking At The Facebook Developer Garage

One was part of the Speaker Panel at the Facebook Developer Garage held in Bangalore on the 28th of August at The Taj West End.

Having worked on building applications on the Open Social and the Facebook platforms, growing them to be among the top applications, building an active user base and monetizing the apps by running some interesting brand campaigns, I shared my experiences on treating applications as products and took the audience through the various stages of development and growth of these apps and the important elements involved in each of the stages.

It was a great experience sharing my thoughts and experiences with a very enthusiastic developer audience and sharing the panel with peers from the internet industry from companies like Facebook, Games2Win, Chakpak, Position2 and WeRead.

Below are some photos from the event -





































































































Here is my presentation from the event -
(Suggested full screen viewing)

Nikhil Kulkarni - Facebook Developer Garage Bangalore

View more presentations from Abhishek Goyal.

Are You Really That Hot Then? Curious Incidents In The Life Time

Are You Really That Hot Then?

Location: Aboard AI 620, Mumbai to Bangalore.
Time: Between 2:15 and 2:30 am.
Date: January 17, 2009.
Feeling before the incident: One of immense relief having reached the airport only minutes before the departure and miraculously enough, being able to clear the security, customs and the immigration check (Yes, it was a domestic flight. But since it was Air India, the boarding was from the international terminal and hence the customs and the immigration checks). And why not miracle, for I had met God himself just before reaching the Airport. And I am sure that the miracle was only because I had met God and not Cyrus Sahukar. Yes, this gentleman. A gentleman, he indeed is.

Story Before The Story:
Dear God insisted that I visit him in Chembur, fully aware ignorant of the fact that I had reached Bombay at around midnight after a tiring, but very enjoyable trip to Bhopal and that the next flight to Bangalore was only an hour and a half from then. And when Inshah Allah and one suggested that we meet at Hiranandani, we were told by God that Chembur is only 20 minutes from Hiranandani and that we should immediately head to Chembur. And the plan of action from then on was straightforward. Listen to whatever God says - check. Agree to whatever God says - check. Do whatever God asks you to - check. I don't know what means of transport God uses to reach Chembur from Hiranandani in 20 minutes, and please don't tell him this, it took us at least 12 minutes to find an autorickshaw-wallah who would take us at that unGodly hour.

Masha Allah was not able to make it to the meeting with God as he was busy vodka pastry* eating and doing what not-ing with God knows who(oh, God definitely knows everything!) at Theobroma. Anyway, through a Facebook photo comment later, he informed us that he had to go to office early the next morning and hoped that Inshah Allah compensated for volume. Compensate, Inshah Allah did. But what about mass and density, Mashah Allah?

And then God worshipping and receiving blessings happened, which included ending up as the last customers in a restaurant cum bar (zyaada) and eating more than the money we had to pay. The restaurant owner taking pity on us (what else could he take out , not his anger definitely. After all, God was with us) and giving us 30 rupees to be able to pay for the auto.

We returned to heaven, picked up my luggage and headed to the Airport. Inshah Allah got down at Vikhroli leaving me and the auto-wallah to calculate the probability of reaching the airport on time before the flight took off.

Then, with a miracle leaving me feel very blessed for spending that time with God, I was able to board the aircraft.

The Story:

I will not say that the Air India air hostesses are nothing much to write about. There is lots to write about, but then maybe that is not something you would not be interested in. But there is something about all air hostesses I would like to write. Looks like the passengers they hate the most are the male passengers (guests, if you are flying FingKisser) in their early 20s and traveling alone. I feel miserable for making them feel miserable. The worst thing one can do to another person is not acknowledge the other person's presence and I credit the air hostesses for giving me this insight. Sad part though, is that I was and still continue to be at the receiving end. Not receiving perhaps, their attention that is.

Leave alone free snacks or meals, except for a few toffees, the air hostesses don't give you any attention on the Mumbai-Bangalore route. (Another matter that it's the same case on all routes!). So I was pleasantly surprised when the AI airhostess woke me up to serve tea and biscuits. I was tired and it took me a while to register what the lady was saying to me. Then, I realised that she was serving tea and was asking me to hold the cup - plastic, with a handle. Used to holding the cup the way I used to, I did not hold the cup by the handle. While I was pleasantly surprised that she was able to tolerate me for that long, I sensed that her patience was wearing thin. 'It is fine, serve me the tea', I said. Still, managing to maintain her calm^, she said, 'Sir, I will burn your fingers with the tea'. Then, in a moment of sheer genius, one said,'Oh, is it? Are you really that hot then?'.

If looks could kill, I would not be writing this post.

I am glad that
- looks don't actually kill.
- she din't have me thrown of the plane mid-air.
- she din't have me arrested after we landed in Bangalore
- I met God in Bombay.


* Mashah Allah, pardon my memory and lack of sophistication and propriety. I know it's name is not exactly the Vodka Pastry. What is it? How is Theobroma doing now? Do you still Page 3 there? Are you alive?
^ She has to maintain her calm because it is her kaam. Work kaam, not desire kaam.

Hello, Is There Anybody In There?

Really, does anyone *still* come and visit this blog? If you do, please let me know. I shall make a shrine for you In My Place. Really, I will.

Regular blogging will (hopefully) resume soon. A fair amount of traveling, reading, writing, listening to music, movie watching, cooking, eating, sleeping has happened in the meanwhile. I'm stopping. I go any further and I know a fair amount of boring and subsequently, killing will also happen.

Keep making things happen.

And Then One Voted

What I had to go through to get my voter ID card will take up two and a half blog posts, but after having cast my vote now, I feel it was worth all the effort.

Here's to Indian democracy -







Wrong finger?




















Thank you very much, DNA. Huh.




















Old Airport Road, Bangalore at 6:45 am.
































The Polling Station











List of candidates and alternate ID proofs.
















The polling booth at 7 am. There were problems with the EVM and polling began only by 7:15.






















Heartening to see the queues getting longer!















Do follow our analysis, opinions, agreements, disagreements on these polls on the election blog - http://indiapolls2009.blogspot.com.

It Is The Time

While a few very insignificant things have happened since this blog saw a post, like meeting Shri Thomas Friedman, frequent trips to the Western region of the country, getting the best deal on Douglas Coupland books, rediscovering music on a wonderful mobile phone, the earth still continues to revolve around the sun and it's still water that pours when it rains.

Nevertheless, what is definitely happening are the General Elections and I consider myself to be very fortunate to be around and to be able to look at events leading to how our country will be shaped over the next five years. I hold my hands together or keep them separate, no pun intended, praying to God to bless us with a stable government that doesn't have to bend over backwards to appease sickle-minded, elephant-sized allies to make sure that the government's policies remain consistent and not change the direction according to the whims and fancies of those with narrow, regional and irrelevant ideological interests.

And what have I done? Doing what I do best - start another blog. Well, let me start the campaign then. Here is the blog - http://indiapolls2009.blogspot.com/

Through the blog, I hope to capture various activities from the ground on how parties mobilize workers and voters, on how the rallies and other campaign activities are held, how various media - different forms, languages and affiliations are reacting to the the election events and what do those who matter the most - the people have to say, or not have to say about the elections. I will also be keen on observing how the urban youth respond to the election activities and see how much of an interest they have in contributing to the most important activity in our democratic process - the elections.

I shall be cross-posting on this blog whenever it is appropriate. Hope all you readers (there are?) are doing well. Enjoy your meal, books, music, movies and sleep.

Literacy For A Billion - How Can You Help?

The Trip To Talakadu

Photos from the trip to Jaladhama, on the banks of rivers Kaveri and Kapila at Talakadu, about a couple of hours drive from Bangalore.

Flower Power



Photos taken during the breakfast stop-over at the Kamat Upachahra on Mysore Road.

Scattering of Light?




Barb Wire?



Photos of the fields on the way - the Well Fielded Series

















I am quite pleased with the way these photos of the clouds came out. This is the Cloud Cult Series, dedicated to Cloud Cult, an indie rock band whose song Love You All I really like.













Photos from the resort.

Love As Seen in Bollywood Movies



Drops of Jupiter



Drops of Jupiter (on green leaves?!)



Leafing Through the Past



Contrasting Focuses





Coffee - Bean There Done That



What are these called?!



The Lonely Soldier



What Are You Getting Antsy About?!



And we all went dinning at the end of it!


All these and more pictures of the previous trips on Flickr - here.

Mysore Dasara Trip 2008 Or Why I Can Now Die A Happier Man - I

The Theory of Happening Trips has been proved once again. That the best trips are those which are decided at the spur of the moment with minimum fuss about the planning, stay, travel and the company. And that the ones that are planned and thought over, over and over, never quite happen.

The Mysore Trip for the Dasara celebration started by proving the The Theory of Happening Trips right. Plan Zero was that Ashutosh and I weould leave from Bangalore on his bike either on Wednesday night or on Thursday depending on how fried a day Wednesday would be. Plan Zero never took off as Ashutosh found out that he was the only resource for a project that would save the world from global warming and end poverty. Plan One involved asking Joshi if he could come and turned out that he had to work the next day on a project to bring about world peace. I cannot blame him too, for he'd have only a couple of hours to decide. But then all of us are not like and me, who set out on the Wayanad Trip with just a day's notice. The rest, of course, were too busy with more important things in life. Taking inspiration from them all, I realised even I could not waste more time on trivial things anymore and did a very important thing - start on the trip rightaway. After a quick call to Prasanna (THE man, the selfless friend, philosopher and Mysore guide, gracious and tolerant host, and to be called as SP henceforth ) informing him about my late-night arrival in Mysore, followed by a packing of trip essentials and a quick bath, I found myself jostling for space in the Bangalore City Volvo bus, since 67% of those working in and around Airport Road were heading towards Majestic area to take buses or trains to travel to their homes.





Kempegouda Bus-stand, Bangalore ~ 10:30 P.M














On reaching Majestic, I realised that 73% of Bangalore had arrived there, looking for a bus to travel out of Bangalore. I know 73% is exaggerated as it can get, but looking at the current economic downturn and the threat of massive lay-offs in the IT industry looming large, will there be a day in the near future where we could possibly see such an exodus out of Bangalore? I'm sure the copywriters in the media would be salivating at such a prospect. I can bet my left index finger that at least 38.2% of them would have thought of such a headline - [Insert well-known IT company name] Shuts Down Bangalore Operations, Employees Asked To Log Out. Even that, I think, is a fairly exaggerated scenario. That of a mass exodus of those working in the IT/BPO industry in Bangalore. Definitely not the copy-writers, they have their copies ready I'm sure.

I pushed, shoved, shouted, tripped over, bumped into and apologised my way through an ocean of people and reached the area from which buses depart towards Mysore. Discovered that KSRTC has launched a low-cost version of their popular air-conditioned buses named Sheetal(meaning cold). These buses run at a fairly good frequency and I did not have to wait for too long to find one with a comfortable seat. At Rs. 137 per passenger with comfortable seating and air-conditioning, I'm sure even those at Capitol Hill will have no problems in voting for this deal.

With Radio Indigo giving me good company and a refreshing coffee stop-over at Maddur, the journey was smooth and comfortable.



















Maddur Bus-stand. ~1:30 A.M

On entering Mysore, I called up SP so that he could reach the bus-stand by the time I reached there. And by the time I finished the call, the bus stopped and I realised that we were already at the bus-stand. I was glad that Mysore wasn't like Bangalore that it would take one at least an hour to reach the bus-stand on entering the city, even though it meant that I had to wait for SP for about fifteen minutes to come and pick me up.







Mysore Bus-stand ~1:00 A.M




























The warm and thoughtful man that SP is, he had brought a jacket for me in his room-mate's car that he had come in to pick me up. Now this is non-sense and I'd advise you not to read further as the previous sentence made no sense except that I tried to play on the word warm. But yes, it was really thoughtful of SP to have brought that jacket for me.

After straight and few cover drives through the deserted streets of Mysore, which only a few hours from then, would be teeming with people wanting to catch a piece of the Dasara action, we reached SP's home. Again, there was no reason for me to mention to the straight and the cover drives because we were not on a cricket field, but then I plan to go to watch the third and fourth day's play at India-Australia Test match here in Bangalore. That thought was playing on my mind while we were driving and I was hoping that I'd get to watch Dada's cover drives and Sachin's straight drives, Dravid's defences and Laxman's drives and defence. Hence the drives find themselves tossed up into this post. But then before this post goes on to become a post on Dada's retirement, which is definitely coming soon, I better get back on track than queer the pitch. We reached SP's place with out wickets intact(it would be redundant and cliched to say that there were no maidens on the road to bowl us over and hence our wickets were intact) and danced to Koyal Si Teri Boli from Beta. No, we did not do any dancing and I'm writing all non-sense. I'm really exhausted now and will continue writing this post once I've returned to sanity after a good night's sleep. Now, are you really reading till this point? Then there's one more thing I want to tell you and want you to listen. Listen, not to me, but to Mar Jaava from Fashion. I think Shruti Pathak will go places and I should go to bed. I promise to keep the next post relevant and write about what we saw at Mysore the next day. Till then, Mar Jaaava..

Sri Lanka, Lakshadweep or Kashmir?

It's either the top or the bottom, and nothing in between. Before you start getting any ideas about this tongue in cheek(or tongue in whatever else) remark, a clarification that the remark is an observation about the options for a possible trip towards the end of this year with Pole.

2008 has been a fairly mixed year, and in some cases probably the Blankest. But it has been a good one for travel. Varanasi, Kurseong, Darjeeling, Tiger Hill and Gorkha War Memorial, Gangtok, Chhangu Lake, Siliguri, Nepal, Bhutan, Kolkata, Delhi and the Wayanad Trip. And of course, the trip to Mysore and Srirangapattana with family. There's a feeling that I get, when I look to the west that even the travel that has happened till now isn't quite enough. So while we plan the year end trip to either the top or the bottom, here's looking forward to the Mysore trip for Dasara in a couple of days from now. And also looking forward to finally sitting down and writing about all those trips.

Why I Can't Have Enough of Gujarat

I find it quite strange that during the four years I was at Surat and even during my trips to Gujarat before that, I had not come across Sanedo. I had not even heard or discussed about it with any of my friends from Gujarat. It was only at the Garba here in Bangalore that we went to last night that I actually got a first hand experience of what Sanedo is. First hand experience is very essential, especially when one's talking about Garba!

The garba was great fun. Among other things, the gentleman on the mike ought back umpteen memories of the goof-ups of our teachers and those emceeing on the stage during various events in the college. During the break between Sanedo and Raas, I kept on hearing Pregness over and over again and while I was wondering if it was some unknown power indicating a person's prowess to get someone preganant (Old article. Nevertheless, read on - Condom sales up by 50% during Navarati in Gujarat) and turns out someone was shouting out for one Pragnesh. My jokes on Gujarati names began and ended with Hitess, Jigness, Paress, Naress being brothers of Business, but now I have Pregness as a welcome addition to the list. Jokes apart, I played Raas for the first time and I believe I've begun to understand how such events provide a casual and an informal environment for young men and women to meet and interact Not that I did not know of it earlier, but again, it's like that dialogue in Munnabhai which goes something like Life mein bahut kuch first time hota hai maamu. It was a really enjoyable and a very interesting experience. And Ms. Nimmi, I hope you had a good time too!

And how can any garba be complete without the garba remixes of the latest hits? Hare Krishna Hare Ram from Bhool Bhulaiyya was fine, but I found it quite funny playing raas with small children singing Zara Zara Kiss Me from Race with more energy than the quintessential male garba singer - fully blonde hair, a blazer made out of the material Kajol's blouse was made out of in Kuch Kuch Hota Hai(chiffon?!) and an uncanny ability to catch dancers unawares by shouting praises of the Godess during the music pieces in a song, lest they forget why they are dancing in the first place. It was a pleasant surprise to hear Main Koi Aisa Geet Gaaon and Chaand Taare at a garba event and dance to it. Couldn't have asked for a better end to the day, which though came at 3 a.m the next day, after a very satisfying quiz at BrewHaha with Chirag.

Thank you Gujarat. Thank you Surat. Thank you Arvind Barot and Maniraj Barot. Thank you Kaka for getting us passes to the indoor stadium in Surat. Thank you Fagun. Thank you Viral. Thank you Nilesh for making that phone call and trying to get me closer to Ms. Nimmi. Thank you Mehul.

PS. Mental note: Blog more often!

Dear Aniruddha Bahal, It's Not Funny

Dear Aniruddha Bahal,

Not a week passes in my life without I mentioning strongly recommending Bunker 13 to people I come across and who seem even remotely interested in reading among those. If I were deeply religious, one would have observed that I go back to Bunker 13 more often that I go to the religious texts. Of course, one needs the kind of madness that made MM the man he was. When I die, I will be glad that I introduced you and your writing to a lot of people around me. While I most eagerly look forward to another Bunker 13 and another MM from you, I really can't understand the need for you to invent Tony M at this moment. Yes, we Indians are starved for quality humour and what we are being served now does no justice to our discerning intellect, but I will remain skeptical of this attempt of yours till I watch the said show and find out if it really deserves you. Tehelka was excellent work and I admire you not only for what you brought to the rot to light, but also how you withstood all the persecution that followed. I really admire Shankar Sharma and Devina Mehra for the same. Please convey my best wishes to them and to Tarun as well. One need not look beyond you guys for inspiration on how to fight back in the face of all odds and come back and come back doubly strong. You started Cobrapost much before those of us in the web 2.0 infected world starting throwing about terms like RSS feeds and news aggregators. For all we know, Cobrapost might just take off and make a strong comeback if you spend more time on it that trying to humour us by being Tony Bhasand. And what is this? Is this what Aniruddha Bahal has become?

Is your absurd sense of humour your forte?

Humour is not the fort. If the truth in the joking then the peoples laughing and spreading all over out from the Naini fort on the river.

I really hope you and your publisher are working on another Bunker 13 and you won't disappoint your followers and readers. Maybe your following is a billionth of that of Sharukh Khan and you are not Arundhati Roy, reading whose work kids think they become intellectuals overnight and go around telling the entire world about it. We are you fans by choice, not by the lack of it. Hope you know that.



Maybe I'm over-reacting just on the ten questions you answered for the Outlook interview. But I hope you understand that you are at your best when you are either stinging or you are writing. And please don't meet Vipul Shah or Akshay Kumar, otherwise we'll soon be watching a movie titled Stingg is Kinng, with the unnecessary extra alphabets and there is also the threat of them wanting you to write the script.

Hope to see you back to writing soon.

Regards,
Nikhil


PS. I must mention here that I immensely enjoyed reading A Case of Exploding Mangoes. Just a note that you now have some competition in fiction writing about military, politicians, war, spying and espionage in the sub-continent.

Image Credit: Outlook

Welcome (to) Ashok Mishra

Just when we thought no one except Gulzaarsaab, Javedsaab, Kirkireji and to a certain extent Neelesh Mishra could write enjoyable songs for Hindi movies, we have a welcome addition to this honoured club. Let's extend a warm welcome to Ashok Mishra. Ashok Mishra debuts as a lyricist with Welcome to Sajjanpur. Forget all this nonsense about how the songs try and put the cool back in the gaon, or how the songs try and show that it's all happening in the hinterland, or even how the album really tries hard to bring out the latent “gaon-waala / gaon-waali” in all of us. Just sit back and take a good listen to the songs and I'm sure you will come round to appreciate the talent that Ashok Mishra is. And it definitely doesn't harm one's chances if he's in the good company of Swananand Kirkire and Shantanu Moitra and moreover for a Shyam Benegal movie. If I were to start writing songs for Hindi movies, this would be my dream team to start working with.



You can listen to the songs here or better still, buy the CD. Or download the songs and make sure you at least ten people around you listen to each song! My picks are Sita Ram, Aadmi Aazad Hai and Ek Meetha Marz De Ke.

PS. Found out that there was no Wikipedia entry for Ashok Mishra. Here's the page I've created. If you more information about this talented lyricist, please go ahead and add it to the page.

The Real Hero of Rock On !!

None of the following are the real heroes of Rock On!!

Farhan Akhtar

Arjun Rampal

Shahana Goswami

Prachi Desai

Javed Akhtar(Only he can write both - Zehreeley Zehreely Kaale Neele Peele and Jo Tum Ho Toh Hawa Mein Bhi Mohabbaton Ka Rang Hai with equal ease. Yes he wrote Dard-e-Disco.)

Jason West (He's the cinematographer)

Shankar-Ehsaan-Loy (As Ehsaan mentioned, it was just another jam session for them. Western music comes naturally to Ehsaan and Loy and I'm sure if ever there's a Rock On!! 2, they'l do much much much better.)

Ritesh Sidhwani (He does remain a hero for me, not only for this movie but also for the way he and Farhan have carried their friendship and passion to this level)

And not Purab Kohli, Luke Kenny or even Chakravyuh!

To me, the hero of Rock On!! is Anu Malik. Why, you ask? Because it takes something to play yourself in a role in which you know you are being ridiculed. Well, almost. Some of us know it as the ability to laugh at oneself. Perhaps that's Anu Malik's idea of laughing at himself. Hats off to you Anubhai!



PS. Hats off definitely, but I don't know about the wig inside the hat/cap!

Image Credit: www.radiosargam.com